What+can+parents+do+at+home?

Often times students crave structure and schedules even it they tell you otherwise. You may have noticed that some of your students most challenging days have been days when their schedule was interrupted or altered in someway. Here are a few tips for things you can do at home that many parents have benefited from.


 * Use very specific First/Then language**. "//First// you need to put this ball on the shelf //then// you can play with the doll house." This way the child knows exactly what you want them to do and the order to do it. You may need to repeat this a few times and when you start using first/then language or commands it can seem awkward but it will make giving and receiving directions much simpler.


 * Have your child do chores**. It doesn't have to be much, but taking out the trash or cleaning a cat litter box gives the child some responsibility. Even taking the trash to the curb once a week is a simple task that can be done very easily.


 * If you say something stand by it.** If you tell a child you will take away a video game if they "do that one more time" stand by your word and take it away. We all need consistency in our lives and if we tell someone we are going to do something we need to follow through. The same goes for rewards, if I tell a student they will earn a reward for doing something it is imperative that I honor my word so the student knows they can trust me. Even if you promise something to the child when they are in the middle of a tantrum to get them to stop, if they comply, you must follow through on your promise regardless of how painful it may be for you. Try very hard not to say something you do not mean.


 * Follow a routine**. Many students need the structure of a schedule in their life. It is important to help them learn to be flexible too, often scheduling "free time" in after a meal or some family time can help meet this need. Another way to promote flexibility is to allow the child to pick from two or three things what they would like to do during "free time" or "family time".


 * A little independence goes a long way**. Giving your child a little freedom to do simple tasks or make some choices on their own can go along way with them. Often times students are told what to do at school and daycare so if they are able to make a choice for themselves (within their ability level) it can help their self esteem and pride.


 * Have your child dress themselves**. It is often easier and quicker to dress a child instead of having them do it themselves. If your child is able to dress themselves have them do it. You may want to set a timer and set out their clothes, but having them out them on is a valuable skill that will help them at school and beyond. If you do set a timer you can make a game out of it! You can try to have them beat their time from the day before or say "If you are dressed in five minutes or less you can have five minutes of video game/free time/whatever they like time, before school."


 * Give them a choice**. If you want your child to work on homework for ten minutes turn it in to a choice for them, "Would you like to do home work for ten minutes or twelve minutes?" Then even if they pick the lower number they are still doing what you wanted them to and they have some control of the situation.